hold on

will post this week ....

Last Chemo This Week!!!!!!

Hopefully this was my last chemo.....went into the hospital on Monday. All the nurses knew me. I was nauseous walking in! They knew the routine wondering when I was going to get rid of my parents... At first I had a private room..It was great...meant to be..don't have to solve the world's problems. All of a sudden this young girl, Carmelina, walks in with the most enormous boobs and doesn't speak english...great..I asked her where her cancer was and she points to her boobs. The nurse came in and whispered she has leukemia , she's 24, no family, no money no nothing. Speaks Spanish only..She has no health insurance and a lot of treatment is done for free..she checks in a day earlier because she likes to eat. Great...now I feel so sorry for her...we tried to communicate and the day ended. The next day she was crying and going out to talk to the other nurses. all day something was wrong..she came in and I asked her what's up...A nurse interpreter came in she explained she was 5 weeks pregnant and they want her to abort the baby right away. She has been getting chemo for the last month and if she stopped it would kill her..and also the baby was exposed to chemo..the nurse said to me try to help her....so I gave her fifty dollars because she had no money....she smiled...then I let her use my computer for her email.....she used it and was so happy. Then after that she started crying...I said CALL THE PRIEST!!! She wanted to hear she was doing the right thing...nurse said in the morning....I woke up buzzed for the nurse and said CALL THE PRIEST! The priest came directly to my bed...you're not for me I'm sinless..haha I explained the situation..the Priest spoke to her...Meanwhile my doctor comes in and wants to give me a blood transfusion...I flipped...no "Amerigan" blood...what if some Irish blood gets in me ..I want pure Sicilian blood..while I was talking to the doctor Carmelina disappears. I have to get this blood transfusion and check out..I'm done....but where is my lunch..I'm starved.....The nurse comes in and I asked where is Carmelina...oh she's down in McDoanlds....whaT!!!!! something is wrong with this picture....she's eating using my money and I'm up here..starved......oh well.....My parents came to pick me up....Good thing it was in the afternoon...my mom did her food shopping...guess what...she bought spinach for dinner.

weekend

Off to the shore this weekend....white count good ...red count good ....the "other end" good...see ya.....party time...

Doctor Day and Hol -i- day

Hope everyone had a great holiday! Every home I visited I did the drunken homeless women with my wig. Not feeling good at all. This was the worst I felt. I don't know if it's because I ate everything in site or it is the side effects from the chemo. Take my word...my body is empty. I had to leave work today and the doctor took me quickly. I listed all the holiday items I ate..so I was in the office for an hour. He wanted a sample to see if I had an infection in my colon.......I told him no chance ..nothing left. My mother thinks it was an uncooked egg in one of the Italian pies......everything had to be over cooked when I was growing up to avoid getting sick....hamburgers were like black Frisbees.

I'm home now waiting to get a sample....how fun is my life right now!!! Blood counts are still low but my weight went up two pounds. Wrong numbers are going up!!!

When Louis finds out I will be in the bubble with no food now.

Back From the Chemo Tour

Well I went to Chemo Monday through Wednesday. It was the usual. Working from my bed as the nurses got in the way taking my blood pressure and giving me needles. My roommate was interesting this time around. I walked in and asked ..Where's your cancer? She replied she didn't have cancer ..she was in for tests. Her scans turned out fine and she was still in pain. I think she was faking..the worst thing she had was heart burn!!!! the meals weren't that good to hang around!! My mom and dad couldn't do enough for her when they visited...please just leave her alone...Had to get a stent put in on Wednesday afternoon which meant being put to sleep. They said no eating and drinking after dinner on Tuesday. So I woke up Wednesday morning and they wouldn't even give me an ice chip...Nazis...I begged..they gave me two ice chips. (big deal) After the procedure they gave me water and said take it easy....Take it easy!!!!!! I'm starved...when I got back to the room the Nazis were going to give me soup!!! I sent my dad down to the cafeteria and woofed down a turkey sandwich...Let's get out of here!!!.When I came home Wednesday night was fine but Thursday it hit me....I called Patti and she told me to suck it up...My mother was giving me a list of foods that she thought would make me feel better...as she ran down the hundred items she would provide for me..it made me sicker...a plain omelet was also suggested....

This cancer thing is so draining..sometimes I choose to ignore and go about my life. I even ordered a grilled chicken, cheese, and roasted pepper pannini at lunch on Thursday.....Reality kicked in...roasted peppers are not the way to go...Well this cancer got me the best gift ever. A Kenny Stabler signed jersey. It's beautiful...after I received that the Nazis and roasted peppers were a faded memory..

Updates and Doctor Day

Louass and I went to Sloan on Thursday to get a cat scan and see the doctor. Before we left I brought him to my favorite lunch spot..7-11 and got him those wrapped sandwiches...I love them. When we got into the city Louass ate a Gyro for more nervous relief...I was anxious about the whole thing...Sloan is so organized. The big Raspberry drink before the CAT scan wasn't so bad... I asked for vodka..the I went into the changing room with a bunch of "older" women. My robe was so small. I asked the ladies what they thought of my wig and they were very complimentary.

I was hoping for a surgery date...I really wanted to it done fast..maybe ruin Easter hahaha...The doctor felt the tumor needed to shrink more and I needed two more rounds of chemo. I was so disappointed....now I bet my Memorial Day is ruined.....as we left the city Louass bought a dirty hot dog near the tunnel while the car was moving..amazing.

Went down the shore this weekend and talked so much my throat hurts. It was great seeing the whole gang! The wig was a big hit , but I did I show my bald head in the ladies room upon request. The beach was great and got in a lot of fun before sitting in the hospital tomorrow. Keep you posted!!

Doctor Day! #1 This week

Where are all the posts???anyone out there???

Today I went to check the white blood cell count. When I park in the cancer parking section, I look at everyone walking out. I think to myself..that person has cancer? or what about that person..they look it...or look at that person..she probably just works here....As I left my car I knew people would know I had cancer because of my wig...at the end the day I look like a drunken homeless woman...sometimes the wig slants! Then I needed to put some rain bonnet my mom gave me on my head to protect my wig. I didn't look like I had cancer..I looked like a drunken homeless woman who was a grandma!!!

White blood count great..my family will let me out this weekend. This weekend was such horrible weather..it's actually was so depressing. I had plans down the shore , but I used good sense not to chance getting sick and stayed home ...Patti said I should have sucked it up and went...she doesn't know yet she's not in my will!!!

Thursday is the big day at Sloan..My brother and I love that buffet across the street from the hospital. We planned to get there early and attack the buffet!!! Well bad news ..I can't eat before the CAT scan....does this suck...???? If I have to watch my brother eat I will have a meltdown...cancer is majorly inconvenient.

Updates from the Cancer Cave

I finally got Patti's card. It wasn't easy. First she wanted me to pick it up this weekend at her house while I'm recovering from my chemo and feeling so fatigued. Monday Patti wanted me to stop by school to pick up the card...I didn't give in...finally she dropped it off at my house and it was worth the wait...Patti wins first place card...:)

This weekend just rested and watched Lifetime TV..Sunday feeling just sick of being sick. Couldn't take one minute and told Kathy I was going to overdose...yes on stool softeners...can't take that one side effect!!

Went to the doctor's today and the white blood count is low...need to stay away from germs!!!! Went to dinner with my family and I was afraid my brother was going to bring out the bubble after hearing the news of my blood test. My mother told me she defrosted two steaks,but I said ma ..I'm not anemic anymore..My brother yelled when I took the ketchup off another table who had kids. My father and mother are throwing their handi wipes at me like I was about to catch an enormous germ..Came home and no bubble at the door. I'm still free!!

POEM by Cathy Dixon

For Betty

Sometimes there no rhyme or reason

Or why the rain picks its season

It just comes our way

We hope it goes away

Sometimes the light shines upon us

Then the dark makes it dusk

And we don't like the change

Maybe it's all too strange

In life we always chase the highs

And when the lows come we strive

To run as fast as we can

We don't like to bend

Are our lessons really treason?

And the pain an awful reason

To stand up and fight

Give the bark a bite?

I don't know

I'm just a survivor of the blow...

CD

Home!!!

Home from the hospital and feeling great. Went to work today and felt energetic..this weekend watch it kick in...dam..The hospital stay was not so bad. I helped my room mate who was an 89 year old woman named Jenny who didn't speak English. I kept making her smile. She understood curse words!! The t-shirts were a big hit. All the nurses came into read them. So chemo went smoothly and I came home yesterday afternoon. Both North and South teams were represented. Thanks guys..

In the hospital they told me I was anemic from the chem....so of course my mom and dad made me steak..there were left over string beans ...so I told my mother to make an omelet......no comment....

My cave is a great ..46inch flat screen and a new rug. I got the rug installed while I was in the hospital. My mother was so angry that I scheduled that during my hospital visit and that my dad had to sit in my house. I said "Ma, cancer patients need to know that their life is still moving forward....hence the rug. My mom caught on ...said BS Betty Lou..you knew what you were doing...(hehe)

Wore my wig for the first time to school....I kept asking people how do you like it ..I decided just to call attention to it...I told the men in the building...I just know you are attracted to me.....but now I know how dogs feel when their head gets rubbed...it's the greatest ..I can't stop rubbing my stubble head!!! Patti still no card....

..

Betty is Bald

Couldn't stand the hair falling into my food. Louass and Joan came over and buzzed it.. I didn't cry...I was so relieved..My cranium is perfectly shaped and my ears are so dainty and attractive looking! It was a busy weekend getting my cave together. It was all hands on deck. It's beautiful. Went and bought a flat screen TV and rug. I tried to bargain with the guy about the rug. I said come on..better price.. I have cancer...I think he was related to my mother..he said didn't matter what I had... this was the price.

Went out to eat last night as a final fling before chemo tomorrow.

Fell in love at the bar....a beautiful dish of rigatoni. Hours later I discovered rigatoni and chemo do not mix...

My mom said people don't win the lottery but they win cancer... why is that..of all people you.... you ate your vegetables...I think it was all that beer you drank...that gave you cancer...(no mention of spinach)

So tomorrow I go into the hospital for chemo until Wednesday. I got a bad ass bandanna and hat to wear. Keep you posted..

Hair City

Hello everyone! An eventful week of cancer happenings. The Chemo Special has taken off at the board office. Thin slice of grilled chicken, lettuce, mayo, on multi grain bread with a pear and two waters. My hair is falling out by the clumps. On Wednesday I put hairspray on my head to stop the process (stupid) it didn't... During an important parent conference that was adversarial, hairs started falling on the table...oh well ..I just continued to talk while wiping the hairs off the table. I said with a smile sorry just a little chemo. I continued to talk and the adversarial conference took a turn to my favor..not bad!!! The parent hugged me after the conference...love this..Well on Thursday I wasn't ready for my wig so I wore a baseball cap to work. Of course I announced why the cap was on while I grabbed clumps of hair and throwing it in the garbage. My secretary offered to cut my hair....fearful looks came across everyone's face so I declined..I went home a little down...who cares about the cancer....this hair thing is is hard...Patti and Ellen came and got me in the middle of the storm and brought me to Landmark...(sorry mom didn't tell you because of worry)... Chris met us there. I felt better, eating my hamburger while hairs were still falling all over the place. Of course Patti and Chris got a free round because they told the owner I had cancer. I tried to look a little sicker for more free beer. Of course OCD Patti couldn't stop picking the hairs off my shoulder ......the shoulder that was facing her side of course...

We decided to come to my house and cut hair off the back..Ellen did a nice job...a new career in the making...rock star, hair stylist..oh..financial planner. I put the wig on this morning and I'm feeling better about wearing it...I'm planning to pull it off during key moments...for laughs of course..The girls are painting my "cave" today which is my name for the small room in my house..they have to get through all the hairs to get to the room.....

Monday

I learned on Friday night that Chinese food doesn't mix with Chemo. (enough of that) A big truck came to my house yesterday. It was the bubble my brother ordered for me to live in!!! I came home from my brother's house last night with all hairs on me. I'm thinking it was his dog...but it was me..the hair is starting to whisk away. I demonstrated at work to a select population how a bunch of hair can just land in my hand. I know that's sick.....oh well the wig is ready. Probably by the end of the week I will look like a model..Went to dinner at my parent's tonight. My father is picking out baseball hats for me to wear and my mother is trying to get me to eat spinach. (help) You never forget cancer..and most of all you never forget the moments like those........

Doctor DAY! (again)

A great day at the doctor! White blood cell count normal and all the evidence shows that the tumor shrunk. I went to the doctors with my t-shirts in a big bag. I met with the director of operations and she loved them..she is going to help me make other cancer patients smile!!!!! My brother the watchdog was with me...he prefers me to live in a bubble away from germs....The cancer card is still working with the cafeteria lady...I'm getting chemo friendly sandwiches and smiles on my plate. Thanks for all the cards and gifts!!!!! Patti where's my card???

Back to School!

First the bad news..my mother is reading my blog....Just ignore her if she posts....I'm feeling a little tired, but went to work so happy! Chemo has its good points..I lost about 5 pounds, my chin hair stopped growing, and hangovers will be a piece of cake after this! The Shore Team mailed the "cancer" Tshirts. I'm ready to go on the road with them...can't wait! Having a doctor's appointment Thursday to get the date of my next stay at the St. Barnabas Hotel. Hopefully we'll stop at two sessions...

Valentine Greetings

Happy Valentines Day everyone..it is a holiday of love...and I love you all for your support. I know more people are reading than responding, but either way thank you!! People live with autism, diabetes, asthma, or a pimple on their butt..I live with cancer which is just another cross to bear just like any other disease. I am feeling good and positive and going to turn this into to positive and help others. The heartache is not being able to gulp down an eggplant parm sub. I miss eating recklessly! hahaha I lost 5 pounds. Of course my mom wants to kill me before the cancer does. She actually offered to make me spinach today without the garlic. My response was somewhat emotional and she responded with an offer to make escarole (help me) ...Received the best t-shirts from the shore girls and KNOCKOUT INC. It made my day.They had all different sayings..one said I went to Chemo and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. I'm wearing that one tomorrow for my blood test. Have a great day everyone..blog ya soon....

Friday Morning

Well the worst of it is over...it wasn't too bad...it feels like a bad hangover that doesn't go away. My life hasn't changed much. I still would have been on the couch watching soap operas and not moving..so far this chemo is not an inconvenience. My mother thinks I'm tired because I'm fat...it has nothing to do with chemo. I told my mom I would come for lunch today. She said anything you want..I have fresh spinach. Since everything doesn't appeal to me now I told her a spinach omelet might be nice . My mom feels that spinach doesn't belong in an omelet. I explained they have spinach omelets in diners ...she doesn't care about the diners. So today my lunch will be spinach with fresh garlic with a side if omelet. I'm getting out feeling better...but the cancer card does not work on my mom....

I'm Back From the Chemo Tour

Hello everyone! I didn't blog form the hospital...too much socializing. I walked in ready for the battle with my new shirt saying "I will beat cancer and you at the same time" It was a big hit with the staff and rest of the cancer patients. I growled like a lion every time they read my shirt. Of course my mom didn't like that I wore the shirt. Not the first time she time she didn't like something I wore. Monday was a rough start waiting for this stuff to go in me. Some tests and about 4 o'clock kick off! It was a miracle and the pain in my side is gone already. I enjoyed my stay...was very sleepy. Please disregard any inappropriate texts from yesterday. Cookie and Louanne represented the shore girls with a great dvd player and pillow thank you!!! and of course the north contingent..love all of you The food was not as good as the last stay but found a great hot chocolate machine down the hall. Not hungry today..just had a half of wrap and some soup. Last week that was an afternoon snack. I here at home in peace...I like it this way..feeling good ready to get into life until my next treatment.

CANCER BOWL SUNDAY

The big game between the chemo and the alien this week. Let's all route for the chemo!!! Friday was tough. Nothing to eat until 3:00! My parents and my sister in law brought me and my brother Lou came later. Louass tried to stalk me and came to the procedure door and they told me my husband was here...Oh God. It really was the best sleep I ever can remember. I woke up refreshed. They looked at me a little weird. When I got back to recovery I asked for water and food...they threw me a piece of pound cake. Later, with much whining, I received a turkey sandwich and some soup. So the port is in ready to go for tomorrow. I'm all packed ready to work from my hospital bed. I will blog from there...thanks for all the cards..and if you didn't send me one yet get busy. I'm trying to break last spring's number.

Friday Morning

Today I go to the hospital for the port to start the chemo on Monday. I can't even have a cup of coffee or eat until after the procedure which is scheduled at noon. This is an outrage. Planning on having a shaving of the head party. Some martinis and an electric razor!The week was good. I bought a HP notebook so I can blog from the hospital and work. This week talked to 13 of my high school friends on one phone call organized through a conference call....that was a great experience...no one really changes, it was like we were all seventeen!

GROUNDHOG DAY

Well six more weeks of winter....and chemo. Today was the test for my heart to see if it was strong enough to withstand chemo. I couldn't withstand the morning yet alone the chemo. I get there and there is no signal for my blackberry. I could have died!! Then I was told a half hour for the test and when I got there I was told 3 hours.!! I had to lay still in this semi tube and all I could think of was lunch. I had some counseling sessions with 2 elderly woman in the waiting room giving them tips on the CAT scan routine. Suck it up ladies..you only have a few cancer cells ..I have an alien. On Friday I get the port put in my chest and Monday I start my chemo. I wanted to start on Saturday but they don't give chemo on weekends...guess no cancer grows on weekends..

The Weekend

Took advantage of this weekend because who knows what next weekend brings. I am going to have a 48 hour chemo drip in the hospital and stay over two nights. I would rather have vodka in that bag!!! Saturday night had fun at Chris and Terri's with friends, eggplant and pasta!!! I tried to get the picture on the blog..it will come. Feeling a lot of support around me...no not my bra...all of the great friends I have out there..Love you guys. The tough part begins this week...fasten your seat belts...

Doctor DAY! (again)

Well my brother and I took the ride into NYC in the snow..of course we had to leave at 10:00 for a 2:00 appointment. Got there early enough to try another food spot, the Cuccino ..buffet...I went crazy..it was great..and of course there was eggplant. The doctor feels the tumor is too big to operate...you know when I do things I do it big. I am going to take the chemo route to shrink this alien and then have surgery...also at the same time maybe kill some other cancer cells somewhere...I am going to lose my hair and going to pick out a sexy wig...also I will probably drop a lot of weight...this is cheaper than Weight Watchers!!! You won't recognize me..so I have another hurdle and as I said at a meeting recently..I can't beat this and you at the same time...

Tuesday

Didn't sleep well last night....I rolled over and over thinking of the future and it suddenly hit me why did Ellen get all the free hair porducts from JJ on Sunday when I'm the one with cancer....!!!! The wait is very long to see when I can give birth to this tumor!!!! I will keep you all posted....

School Nurse

The school nurse is here....told me not to eat meatballs so I don't get cancer.....not going to happen

Martinis

This is Lucy....P&E's dog. I was supposed to be resting that day, but she was in my spot. She doesn't look that concerned about me...

Well, I thought martinis killed cancer...so I had four last night.We'll see if it worked in the next CAT scan. The Cancer Card is working nicely...got some free food service at school for a meeting. My secretaries can't do enough for me.....the list is so long....and Kathi Feen so what I spelled Patti's name wrong...people with cancer can spell anyway they want.....! :)

DOCTOR DAY!

It was a long week of waiting to go to Sloan Kettering Hospital to see the super duper cancer radiologist to qualify for this procedure while I'm under the knife! It went well and I have to visit the surgeon next week, schedule the surgery, and get this alien tumor removed quickly. I'm ready to name the tumor! (next post)

Patty stopped over and she is so worried........................... about my recycling abilities. She looks in the garbage and identifies items that I did not recycle. As cancer grows in my body I can't worry about recycling! The Earth right now has a longer life span than me!!!!!!

Across the street from the hospital there is an excellent deli !! There's a plus...

LOG IN INFORMATION

TO WRITE A POST YOU MUST HAVE A G-MAIL ACCOUNT (GOOGLE) ACCESS BLOGSPOT.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION....DO NOT DISAPPOINT A PERSON WITH CANCER.

My Profile/Comments

As you can see my profile picture is my nephew Matthew. He's on the horse. Matthew was so stressed out about the recurrence of my cancer, he flew to Florida ..see how worried he is about me?

The blog is going well and thanks for all of your responses. It's hard sometimes looking ahead of what is going to happen. I go to Sloan on Thursday with my medical power of attorney...LOUASS...Hopefully I will be chosen for this special procedure that raidiates you while you're cut open. So.... they get the tumor out, zap me, hang out a couple of days, and go home and order an eggplant sub.

Example of the CC

Let me give you an example of the cancer card at its best. Last week I went to the receptionist to order lunch. She orders from an elementary school and they send it up to the big cheese office. I wanted a trio salad which I thought consisted of egg sald, tuna salad, and chicken salad. The receptionist then began to tell me one of those choices has to be potato salad. I replied no way I have cancer and I need those three!!!! Needless to say my lunches have become large and outstanding....The cancer card at its best...

Betty

THE CANCER CARD

In life we are all dealt with a certain hand of cards and we just play them! Well, I was dealt the CANCER CARD and it still can be a winner hand. Remember playing the card game "Old Maid" when you were a child? At first the Cancer Card card feels like you just received the Old Maid card and you need to do something about it right away and get it out of your hand. The smarter player viewed the card differently and still won the game.